fasting

Imitating Heaven by Creating a Joyful Family Life

Joy is an elusive feeling missing in many of our lives. Perhaps many of us are not joyful because we do not make finding it a priority. We tend think joy is something that just happens to some and not to others. But joy is something that requires our active participation in many small but often challenging ways. Joy starts within the home. Father Ed Broom wrote an article about 10 ways to vitalize the Catholic family which I think has a lot to do with finding joy. The TL;DR summary of a joyful family is:

Family prayer
The father as head of the family
Forgiveness
Saying “I’m sorry”
Servant attitude
Gratitude
Take a break from gadgets
Listen
Celebrate
Marian Consecration

When I look at these ten points as a whole, I get the idea that a vitalized family is a joyous family. It is one centered around building each other up, acknowledging when we mess up, forgiving, and moving on.

We all know the saying that money does not buy happiness. But that does not stop many of us from trying. I’m not just talking about extravagant or needless purchases either. We all want what’s best for our spouse and our children and often plunk down a lot of money trying to achieve that. We spend a lot for organized sports and activities, days out having fulfilling experiences, and nice family meals out. But all that stuff and activities can also drown out true quality time that produces joy.

Modern “family time.” Where’s the joy emoji?

True family happiness is not something that comes through a Disney cruise or Hawaiian vacation. It comes from much smaller but probably more costly actions. It means taking the time to listen to your kid stumble through a joke he heard at school. It means having some silly time with a toddler even when there is housework to be done. It means just stopping and asking how your kids’ day went. It means setting aside time to listen to your spouse talk about the day.

Life is busy. And we so often get bogged down in doing what is immediately necessary. We need to wake the kids up, we need to finish breakfast, we need to get to school, we need to drive to baseball practice, we need to get started on homework, we need to clean the house, we need to… And so our days become a checklist of tasks where the joy and happiness are jettisoned for the sake of efficiency. We may not even feel unhappy because everything runs so smoothly. But we miss out on that feeling of joy because we are so busy running our families like a business that we don’t take the time enjoying being a family.

Joy is an important aspect of the Catholic faith and yet is one that is too often forgotten. We forget about the joy amongst the talk of fasting, penance, sin, and dogma. What we fail to understand is that the rules, fasting, and penance make way for joy because they tear down our natural human resistance to God’s grace and pave the way to ultimate joy in His Kingdom of Heaven. You cannot experience joy with a soul burdened by sin. Like someone shedding weight and feeling better through intense exercise, we need to shed the weight of sin through prayer and fasting to truly feel that joy that God intends for us.

When I pray the First Glorious Mystery of the Rosary, Jesus’ Resurrection, I remember that the Catholic Church is first and foremost a joyful Church. Without Jesus’ resurrection, the Church would be based on little more than a philosophy of a man who lived thousands of years ago. But with the resurrection, we celebrate with Jesus who conquered death as He said He would to His disciples. Jesus is alive and present in our lives today helping us achieve that joy of having a close relationship with God our Father. His resurrection proved that our lives do not end with the challenges and suffering of this world. It does not end at all because He desires all of us to find true joy in His Heavenly Kingdom.

Circling back to the original topic of joy and family. We should all try to make our family life an imitation of the joy we desire for ourselves in Heaven. Maybe, if we give others in our family a small taste of joy, they will desire that true joy that God gives that much more. And while our family life may never replicate Heaven, I think we can all agree that a pale imitation of Heaven is much better than an imitation of Hell. If you are looking to spread joy in this world, start with the people who share your roof.

What Rosary Prayer Teaches us about Fasting

I just finished reading my children a book of Lenten prayers. Tonight’s prayer topic was on the value of fasting. Fasting is a huge theme emphasized throughout Lent. And yet I know many people who do not see the value of it or are confused about why we do it. To put it simply, one goal of fasting is to forgo an earthly desire such as food to make room for God’s grace. We have a great example of this in the rosary.

If fasting means exchanging our worldly desires for Heavenly ones, let’s look at Jesus’ crucifixion which we meditate on in the Fifth Sorrowful Mystery of the rosary. What can it tell us about the value of fasting? At Jesus’ crucifixion, there are two criminals crucified with Him. One rebukes Jesus saying that he should save all three of them if He really is the Messiah. The other simply asks Jesus to remember him. Jesus tells that criminal that he will join Him in paradise on that day.

The first criminal can represent our disposition when we aren’t fasting. We are concerned about our worldly situation and how to constantly improve it. We ask Jesus for all sorts of things; many of them well-intentioned and some of them maybe a bit selfish. The first criminal wanted more of his life on earth. In a way, he wanted things back the way they were because that’s the only reality he knew. And let’s be honest, his life couldn’t have been that great if he ended up on a cross. We too, when our hearts are so full of earthly desires, just want to maintain the status quo. When we do that, we close ourselves off from something greater — God’s grace and making a place for ourselves in Heaven.

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The second criminal represents our state of mind and soul when we fast. Having been stripped of all that life has to offer, he came to Jesus with a humble heart asking simply for Jesus to remember him. With nothing attaching him to the world, he realized Jesus’ true nature and how important it was to reconcile himself with Him. Similarly, when we fast we let go of everything worldly that weighs us down and can more clearly see Jesus for who He really is — our Lord and Savior.

Fasting is more than a Catholic diet plan or some ancient tradition that we just do out of habit. It is our opportunity to put our lives, our fears, and our desires into perspective. We’re human and so naturally there are things in this world we enjoy. But during Lent, let’s reflect on whether we still make room for God’s plan and focus on obtaining our Heavenly goal. Or have our attachments to this world, even the non-sinful ones, prevent us from embracing the true happiness that comes from God’s grace?

The Value of Fasting

I am an avid reader of science and technology articles. I read Wired and Popular Science cover to cover within days of the magazine arriving in my mailbox and I read articles from numerous websites. I get super excited when I notice a link between my two passions — science and technology and prayer and spirituality.

I came across such an article that dived into the science behind fasting. A researcher has a theory that fasting obstructs a hormone responsible for cell growth and makes people more sensitive to insulin. He thinks that periodic fasting could reduce one’s chances of developing diabetes or cancer. The technical details are beyond the scope of this article but it’s an interesting read.

The article mentions that those who fast often feel sharper mentally because of a process called ketosis. It has something to do with a difference in body chemistry when you’re burning fat instead of carbohydrates. But that got me thinking about why the Church recommends fasting in addition to prayer. If fasting sharpens the mind and makes you physically healthier, could it also make you spiritually healthier as well?

The common idea behind fasting is that we give up something physical (such as food) and replace it with something spiritually nourishing. But this isn’t a trade of equal value. The spiritual benefit will always outweigh the physical loss. Think about that for a second. You give up a dessert or your ritual cup of coffee so you can instead better listen to God and form a deeper relationship with Him. Talk about giving up so little to gain so much! Seems like an easy deal right?

And yet, while we all know the tremendous benefit of fasting, it is probably one of the hardest disciplines to practice. I think many of us have no problem saying some extra prayers, reading the bible, or praying the rosary when we put our minds to it. But you might as well suggest amputating a limb at the idea of not having that slice of cheesecake, substituting that mouth watering bacon burger for soup, or cutting out that cup of afternoon coffee. But that’s the point isn’t it? The harder the sacrifice, the more you benefit. When you say, “Okay God, I’m giving this up for you!” the better you will be able to hear God respond with a “thank you” and His grace.

And on Saturday he ate 1 piece of chocolate cake, 1 ice cream cone, 1 pickle…

Fasting amplifies our prayers and our reception of God’s Word. Compare fasting/prayer to diet/exercise. Exercise is not as effective without a matching, healthy diet. All that you gain working out for an hour can be undone with a single cheesecake slice. Or your health can be further benefited by supplementing exercise with nutritious food. The same can be said for prayer. All the benefits of prayer can be undone by a moment of sin or it can be elevated when combined with fasting. Obviously, if we pray and then turn around and sin we really haven’t let God’s grace into our hearts. But when we pray and fast, we allow God more room in our hearts to truly transform us. St. Augustine once said, “Those who sing pray twice.” If that’s true then I say that those who fast must be praying five-fold.

How does fasting connect to the rosary? Think about one of the themes of the Third Luminous Mystery. Jesus calls us to focus on living for His Kingdom of Heaven. That focus manifests itself by active conversion of our ways. We change our earthly focus to a Heavenly one. And that is exactly what fasting is all about. We give up something worldly in exchange for something spiritual. We intentionally choose the Kingdom of Heaven over delights in this earthly kingdom. No one accidentally fasts. Nor do we accidentally live for Heaven. In the Third Luminous Mystery, Jesus puts a choice before us. Will you live for His kingdom and convert your ways or will you remain chained to the pleasures of this life?

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