Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in the world today — the expectation of perfection. It is often seen in expecting perfection from others but is sometimes manifested in expecting perfection from oneself. I believe that that we too often forget that we are not perfect beings.
Constantly Finding Flaws
Complaining seems to be people’s default mode now. When I run into a friend, I greet them and ask how they’re doing, only to be barraged by their list of grievances. Here are some of the examples of what I come across on a daily basis.
- In my youth soccer league, coaches complain about the competencies of referees. Keep in mind that most referees are volunteers just wanting to help out.
- Also in soccer, parents are upset that there aren’t enough coaches or referees or that they don’t like how a particular coach manages their child’s team.
- At a Mass, a new lector made a mistake regarding the readings. Despite people telling him it’s okay, he beats himself up over the error and pledges to never lector again.
- At a school event, people complain about the way a particular event is being run or a particular policy. The lines were too long, they didn’t have enough supplies, they didn’t give enough notice, etc.
Striving for perfection and expecting perfection are two different things. I often try my very best in whatever I do. Likewise, I hope that other people are doing the same. But I need to also have an understanding that things won’t always go as intended. The desired outcome isn’t always achieved. We will always find things that disappoint us if that is all we focus on.
Modern Day Pharisees
I think back to the Pharisees in Jesus’ day. In the Gospels, they seem to always be expecting, even demanding, perfect adherence to Jewish laws. Those who did not live up to the 613 laws were cast out of certain circles or at least looked down upon. When you have so many laws, you’re most likely going to be in violation of a few of them at some point. When there’s the expectation perfection, you will always be disappointed because you will always be surrounded by imperfection.
We can act similar to the Pharisees. We cast heavy burdens on people because when we expect them to behave flawlessly according to our standards. They may be doing everything just fine — being kind and thoughtful, working hard, and doing their best. But so many times, we focus on their shortcomings — they’re lateness, unresponsiveness, lack of organization, etc. When the Pharisees saw Jesus, they only saw the Mosiac laws He broke, not the good He did. We too tend to get into modes where the people around us are nothing more than a collection of flaws.
Our Catholic faith is so great because God sees more than our faults. He knows we are imperfect and yet He loves us anyway. God gave us the Sacrament of Reconciliation knowing that we won’t always succeed at living according to His Will perfectly. It should be a comfort to us that God knows us so well that he knows we have our flaws and provides us a means to correct ourselves. Instead of God being disappointed in our imperfections like a Pharisee, He rejoices whenever we strive to follow Him.
Accepting Our Imperfections
We need to imitate God and also understand that no one is perfect. That means:
- Not getting overly frustrated when things don’t go perfectly.
- Not getting angry with people when they don’t live up to our expectations.
- Looking for the good in people and not focusing on their flaws.
- Not beating ourselves up when we fail to live up to our expectations.
When I think of our imperfections, I’m drawn to praying the Fifth Joyful Mystery. Mary and Joseph physically lost Jesus. Talk about failing as parents! But they just kept looking for Him for three days before finding Him. I think about how we have those moments when we lose Jesus. We often spiritually lose Jesus when we sin. We can either fall into despair because we aren’t living up to God’s high standards. Or we can imitate Mary and Joseph, turn around, and start searching for Jesus again in our lives.
Speaking of imperfection, sorry that my Rosary decade pages on my website are in bad shape. The slides extension I use for each “bead” isn’t working and is no longer available. I’m trying to find a replacement or redesign those pages to do something different. Stay tuned.